Mimosa Bracegirdle-An Unexpected Journey
by Lotr030201
Summary: Mimosa Bracegirdle, just a young woman at the time, becomes swept in a journey along with Bilbo Baggins, 13 Dwarves, and Gandalf the wandering Wizard. Unknown adventures are ahead: Trolls, Goblins, and a very odd creature that stays in the dark and slithers around on the ground. Part 1 of 3. Movieverse. R&R! Also check out Rowan Whitfoot (the daughter of Mimosa) and her journey!
1. Chapter 1

Mimosa Bracegirdle: An Unexpected Journey

Chapter One

_Year: 1400_

_Bilbo POV_

My dear Rowan and Frodo... You asked Mimosa and I once if we had told you everything there was to know about our...adventures. And while we can honestly say we have told both of you the truth, we may not have told you all of it. Mimosa and I are old now, you two. We're not the same Hobbits we once were. I think it is time for you to know what really happened.

I lit a candle and went into my study. Seemed like everyone but me was asleep. That's why this was the perfect time to begin. I opened my old chest, and picked up some papers. Under those, Sting lay like it had been for years, waiting patiently to see another battle. I dug past it, grabbed my red book, and opened it. In there was an old drawing of myself, and the old one of Mimosa slid out from under it. I picked them up and looked at them, smiling. On mine I had a straight face-no smiling, no expression. With Mimosa it was different. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders like a waterfall, her eyes seemed to even twinkle with that youthful and playful spark that they once had, that had now been replaced with wisdom and age. She's smiling as if she had no care in the world. This was before she married, before she watched one of her children die right before her eyes. I put those to the side, dipped my quill in the ink, and began writing.

It began long ago in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Dale. Its markets known far and wide. Full of the bounties of vine and vale. Peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle Earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King Under the Mountain. Mightiest of the Dwarf Lords. Thror ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson. Ah, you two. Erebor. Built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of this fortress city with legend. Its wealth lay in the earth, in precious gems hewn from rock, and in great seams of gold, running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled; fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire. Ever they delved deeper down into the dark. And that is where they found it. The Heart of the Mountain. The Arkenstone. Thror named it "The King's Jewel". He took it as a sign. A sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him. Even the great Elven King, Thranduil. But the years of peace and plenty were not to last. Slowly the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in. Thror's love of gold had grown too fierce. A sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.  
The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane, coming down from the North. The pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind. He was a firedrake from the North. Smaug had come. Such wanton death was dealt that day. For this city of Men was nothing to Smaug. His eye was set on another prize. For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire. Erebor was lost. For a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives.

_Thorin POV_

I looked around standing outside. I knew exactly what this was. I looked at Balin.

"Balin, sound the alarm." I ordered. A flag whipped and we ducked down, making Balin grunt. "Call out the guard. Do it now!" my tone began to get fiercer. To say the least, I was very scared. But I wasn't going to let it show. I started to go inside.

"What is it?" Balin asked. I stopped and looked at him.

"Dragon." I explained. My eyes grew wide as I watched. I ran over to the balcony and looked inside. "Dragon!" my cry echoed. The fire almost swallowed the outside balcony that Balin stood on. I grabbed him and we hid behind a pillar, both of us grunting as another sea of fire headed our way. The people of Dale below began screaming, horns bellowed, the dragon roared. After we got inside, we got all of the soldiers together, and we ran towards the doors. The fire came through the cracks, making us stop. The doors flew open, and I shouted at my men to get ready. A claw appeared, settling itself on the doorframe. Above us, the wall exploded and fire and brick rained down on us. My men were thrown to the side like old armor. I had to move because the dragon had finally made his way inside. He was walking, stepping on my men. But my grandfather was nowhere to be found. Looking up, I saw he had taken the Arkenstone. I ran after him, and grabbed him as he was watching all of his gold swirl around, and the Arkenstone nowhere to be found. The dragon roared as we backed out of the room. I held my sword at the ready. "Come on." And we ran out of Erebor, everyone who was alive was screaming and crying. I looked up, and saw the Elves. "Run for your lives!" I shouted at my people. I looked at the Elves again. "Ah! Help us!" I looked at Thranduil until the coward turned around, and his army left us.

_Bilbo POV_

Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon. No help came from the Elves that day...nor any day since. Robbed of their homeland, the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness, a once mighty people brought low. The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it...laboring in the villages of Men. But always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon, the trees like torches blazing bright. For he had seen dragon fire in the sky and a city turned to ash. And he never forgave...and he never forgot. That, my dear Frodo and Rowan, is where Mimosa and I come in. For, quite by chance, and the will of a Wizard, fate decided that we would become part of this tale. It began... Well, it began as you might expect. In a hole in the ground, there lived two Hobbits. Not a nasty dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells. This was a Hobbit hole. And that means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home.

_Mimosa POV_

"Bilbo." I said walking into the room. Bilbo didn't look up from his book; he just kept writing. I giggled, and walked over to him. I placed my hands on his shoulders, and he jumped and looked at me.

"Hello, Mimosa, I didn't hear you come in."

"What are you writing?" I asked. Bilbo looked at me, a smile on his face.

"I'm finally writing our adventure."

I smile back at him. "It's about time."

"I know."

"Are you ever going to tell Rowan and Frodo?"

"One day."

"That's what you've been saying for years."

"And that's what I'm going to keep on saying until I finish writing this." Bilbo turned back to the book and started writing again.

I roll my eyes, a smile on my face. "You know, you would have made a good husband."

"You tell me that all the time."

"Why didn't you get married?"

Bilbo stopped and sighed. He looked at me. "Because the woman I loved married someone else. And now I know why."

"Why?"

"Because I never let her know how I really felt about her until it was too late."

We locked eyes and I studied him for a minute. "So it was me." I said. Bilbo looked down, and I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I know you're planning to leave for Rivendell." I lowered my voice. "And I know you want me to come with you. I am willing to do so. That's why I've been helping you."

"Mimosa—"

"Listen to me. Yes. I married Fosco. But that was because I thought you didn't love me."

"How many times did I save you? Mimosa, you are the only woman that I have ever loved."

I smiled.

"Mom?" Rowan called.

"In here, Row." I told her. Rowan walked in, and handed me a sheet of paper.

"Here's what you were looking for."

"Rowan! Hurry! Seriously, I need help!" I heard Frodo yell. "This is heavy!"

"Coming Frodo!" Rowan ran out of the room. I looked at the paper. It was a picture of me and Bilbo right after we had gotten back. I remember that. After it was finished, since I had my arms around Bilbo's neck, we walked home like that with people staring.

"Where did Rowan find that?" Bilbo took the picture and looked at it.

"I'm not sure. I told her what it looked like and she said she'd search high and low for it. Glad she found it."

"Me too."

"Bilbo... You don't have any hard feelings against Fosco, do you? I mean, even after he's dead?" I asked timidly.

"Mimosa that was _years _ago. Of course I don't. I used to—"

Something fell. "Oops!" Rowan said.

"Will you watch what you're doing?" I heard Frodo scold her.

"Well I'm sorry, it's just heavy!"

"That's what I told you!"

Bilbo and I looked at each other and held in our laughter. After a minute, I looked down. Bilbo made me look back up.

"As I was saying, I used to be very cold towards Fosco." Bilbo cleared his throat. "But I was his friend for your sake and your sake_ only_."

"I know. I saw the dirty looks you sent his way." I put a strand of hair behind his ear. "Honestly. What I told you about marrying Fosco was true. And yes, we had a few affairs during the marriage around the time I got pregnant the kids."

"That always made me wonder... Rowan and Fosco... Are they...?"

I opened my mouth but then Rowan popped her head into the room. "Mom. We need help. Frodo keeps dropping stuff."

"I do not!" Frodo yelled and then something fell. I smiled.

"I'll be back. You continue writing." I kissed the top of his head and left the room. I saw Rowan and Frodo walk out of the kitchen, both eating an apple. Hm. I guess they fixed that. "Didn't you just eat?" I asked.

"It's just a snack." Frodo explained, smiling at me.

"Can you go check the mail?" I smiled at him and crossed my arms.

"Sure, no problem. Come on, Row." Frodo grabbed my daughter's wrist gently, and the two walked out of the house. Then it fell again. It was pot. I groaned, went in there, picked it up, and shook my head.

_Rowan POV_

"Mom was right though. We did just eat." I said.

"Hey. It's my birthday too, you know. I am now a fully grown Hobbit. I can do whatever." Frodo grabbed the mail from the mailbox.

"So what?"

"So you're not and now I have the ultimate right to boss you around."

"You do not."

"Do too."

"Nope."

"Go fix the garden."

"Make me."

"I will." Frodo grabbed me behind my waist and swung me around. I squealed and then he put me down. We looked at each other for a few moments and then Frodo cleared his throat. "Come on, let's go inside."

"Alright." I had a feeling Frodo wanted to do something, but I don't know what. We went back inside.

_Mimosa POV_

I walked back into the office, shaking my head. "Those two." I smiled.

"Bickering again?" Bilbo asked.

"No. They decided to get a little snack." I heard Rowan squeal outside and looked out the window. Frodo was swinging her around, both laughing and smiling. "I think Frodo likes her."

"Why do you say that?"

"Just look at them."

Bilbo looked up just as the two parted and blushed. We laughed a bit as they came inside. I stopped and Bilbo chuckled but stopped abruptly as they came into the room. He cleared his throat as Frodo put the mail down. "Thank you."

Frodo picked up the pictures. "What's this?" he asked. Rowan grabbed the one of me.

"That is private." Bilbo snapped, yanking the pictures out of their hands. "Keep your sticky paws off." I saw Frodo nudge Rowan and the two of them began to look at the book. Bilbo closed it. "It's not ready yet."

Frodo made some sort of noise, between a laugh and a scoff I think. "Not ready for what?" he smiled.

"Reading." Frodo grabbed Rowan by the hand and the two walked over to a chest. He picked up a helmet. "What on earth are these?" Bilbo picked up the mail.

"Replies to the party invitations." Frodo explained.

"Ah. Good gracious. Is it today?" Bilbo smiled.

"Yes. Did you forget?" I asked him. Bilbo sputtered for a moment.

"No."

Frodo smiled at us as Rowan chuckled. "They all say they're coming." He explained. "Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who are demanding you ask them in person."

"They're always so hard-headed." Rowan mumbled.

"I know. It's annoying."

"Are they, indeed?" Bilbo snapped, walking out of his study. "Over my dead body."

"They'll probably find that quite agreeable." Frodo joked. "They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing with gold."

Bilbo rushed around hiding his valuable items. "It was one small chest hardly overflowing." He said. "And it still smells of Troll." Rowan laughed. "It's true. Take a whiff. You'll understand."

"I don't know what Troll smells like and I don't want to know." Rowan shook her head, her long red hair, which was in a braid, smacking Frodo in the face.

"Ow!" he held his cheek.

"Sorry."

"What on earth are you doing?" Frodo looked confused. Bilbo muttered. He looked at us.

"Taking precautions." He explained. "You know, I caught her making off with the silverware once."

"Who?"

"Lobelia Sackville-Baggins."

"I slapped her." I said, smiling. I was still proud of myself for doing that. Even to this day. Bilbo chuckled at my remark and continued.

"She had all my spoons stuffed her pocket. Ha! Dreadful woman." The three of us followed him. "Make sure you two keep an eye on her after Mimosa and I... When we're... When we're..."

"When you're what?" Frodo looked confused.

"It's nothing. Nothing."

Rowan and Frodo looked at each other and the three of us followed him again. Frodo spoke again.

"You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, Uncle."

"Huh?"

"They think you're becoming odd."

"Odd?" Bilbo's head snapped up at the word. "Oh. Hm." He looked back at what he was doing.

"Unsociable." Frodo continued.

"Unsociable, me? Nonsense. Be a good lad and put that on the gate." Bilbo handed him a sign. Frodo, Rowan, and I looked at it and then looked at each other. Only because it had said:

"No Admittance Except On Party Business".

_Outside_

Frodo finished putting it up as Rowan leaned on the fence. I stood in the yard with Bilbo.

"Do you think he'll come?" Frodo asked.

"Who?" Bilbo was popping his back from twisting side to side. Rowan and Frodo looked at each other, rolling their eyes.

"Gandalf." They said together.

"Oh-ho." Bilbo chuckled, smiling. "He wouldn't miss a chance to let off his Whizpoppers. He'll give us quite a show. You'll see."

"Right, then. We're off." Frodo said. Rowan smiled.

"Off to where?"

"East-farthing Woods. We're going to surprise him."

"Well, go on, then. You don't want to be late."

I noticed Frodo grabbed Rowan's hand as the two ran off. Bilbo sat down on the bench and began smoking. I sat down next to him. Not that I liked the smoking. The smell was horrible. But I didn't really mind as long as I was with him. Bilbo looked at me, put his arm around me, and blew a smoke ring into the air.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**60 years earlier...**

_Mimosa POV_

Bilbo and I sat outside as he smoked, his eyes closed. I read a book. Hearing him gasp, I looked up and saw some smoke near his face. I looked in front of me and saw a very tall man wearing nothing but grey. Bilbo leaned forward, unsure of what to do or say.

"Good morning." He finally said.

"What do you mean?" the man asked. Bilbo put his pipe back into his mouth. "Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm?"

Bilbo looked utterly confused. "All of them at once, I suppose."

"Hmm."

Bilbo shifted in his seat. "Can we help you?"

"That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."

Bilbo's pipe slipped out of his mouth and the two of us looked at each other. Then he looked back at the man. "An adventure? No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have interest in such adventures." He got up and went to the mailbox. "Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things." He took the mail out, put his pipe back into his mouth, and began to look at the mail. "Make you late for dinner. Heh, heh. Mm. Huh." The man seemed to be persistent. I walked over to Bilbo, who just looked at the grey cloaked man. "Hmm." He was waiting for him to leave. I, personally, thought this was hilarious but I kept my laughter in. But the man saw me smiling. I put a finger up to my lips and he nodded, winking at me. "Oh. Ah. Good morning. Mimosa, come with me." Bilbo gently took my hand and we started up the steps.

"To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son and his girlfriend as if I were selling buttons at the door."

The pipe once again lowered from Bilbo's mouth. "Beg your pardon? How do—How did you know about...us?"

"The last time I was here was when you two first got together. You've changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins. So have you, Mimosa, although I don't think you're as stubborn as Bilbo."

"I'm sorry, do we know you?"

"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf. And Gandalf means...me." the man smiled. My face broke out in happiness while Bilbo's got a look of remembrance.

"Gandalf? Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard who made such excellent fireworks? Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. Heh, heh. Ahem. No idea you were still business." And the pipe went back into his mouth.

"And where else should I be?" Gandalf glared.

"Where else—? Ahem."

"Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me...even if it's only my fireworks. Yes. Well that's decided. It'll be very good for you and most amusing for me." Gandalf seemed to have made up his mind very quickly. Bilbo looked puzzled. I furrowed my eyebrows. "I shall inform the others."

"Inform the who? What? No. No No—Wait." Bilbo scampered up the steps all the while tugging on my hand. "We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today. Not—I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water. Good morning." We went inside and Bilbo shut and locked the door. I looked at him.

"I doubt even people Over the Hill or Across the Water will go on an adventure." I said. Bilbo waved his hand at me to quiet me down.

"Wait. I think I hear something." He knelt down. I did the same. It sounded like some sort of scraping on the door. Bilbo's eyes widened and he looked out the window. Suddenly umped back and hid in the hall. I began to move when he mouthed "Stop." He went into the kitchen and looked out the window.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing." He shook his head.

_Later_

It was nighttime. Bilbo and I made our dinner and just sat down to eat. Bilbo put his napkin in as a bib. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Really?" I smiled.

"What? I do this every night." Bilbo said.

"I know you do. But I only thought baby's used bibs."

Bilbo furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I took a bite of my food and shrugged. "Nothing."

"Uh huh." Bilbo put some lemon on his fish when the doorbell rang. We looked at each other. We got up and opened the door. There stood a Dwarf.

"Dwalin, at your service." He said, bowing.

"Hm. Uh..." Bilbo quickly fixed his robe. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours."

I fixed my hair. "Mimosa Bracegirdle, at yours sir."

"Do we know each other?" Bilbo asked as Dwalin walked in.

"No." Dwalin said, simply. He took off his coat. "Which way, laddie? Is it down here?"

"I-I-I-Is what down where?"

"Supper." Dwalin answered him simply. He threw his coat at him. "He said there'd be food and lots of it."

"He—He said? Who said?"

Dwalin didn't answer. We went into the kitchen/dining room and there was the food. There the Dwarf sat, and ate Bilbo's plate.

"If you want mine you can have it." I said.

"No, lassie." Dwalin shook his head. I looked at Bilbo.

"N-No. Go ahead and eat, Mim."

I shrugged, sat down, and ate.

"Mmm. Mmm." Dwalin finished the fish and bit off the head. Bilbo sat in the corner. "Very good, this. Any more?"

"What? Oh, yes, yes. Ah." Bilbo picked up a plate of biscuits and hid one behind his back. "Help yourself." He placed it on the table. I got one as well before Dwalin ate them all. "Hmm. It's just that, um, we weren't expecting company." And at that, the doorbell rang again.

"That'll be the door." Dwalin said.

"Mim, come on."

"Are you scared, Bilbo?" I asked.

"What? No. Surprised? Yes."

I stood and he let me out first, and then caught up with me, his hand on the small of my back. I was surprised. He hasn't really shown this much affection ever since I moved in here six years ago. He opened the door again, and there stood another Dwarf. Except this one was much older with white hair and a white beard. He smiled at us kindly.

"Balin, at your service." He bowed.

"Mimosa Bracegirdle, at yours." I smiled. Balin smiled back at me.

"Good evening." Bilbo said.

"Yes. Yes, it is." Balin walked in. "Though I think it might rain later."

"Hm?"

"Am I late?"

"Late for what?"

Balin looked over in the living area. "Oh! Ha, ha!" he laughed. Dwalin stopped trying to get a chicken out of a glass box. Balin walked over to him. "Evening, brother." He chuckled.

Dwalin chuckled. "By my beard, you're shorter and wider than last we met."

"Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us."

Bilbo looked outside and then looked at the Dwarves, who were laughing. Dwalin put his hands on Balin's shoulders and the two rammed their heads together. They seemed unfazed, because they were both still laughing.

"Uh, excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt." Bilbo said. "But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house."

The Dwarves seemed to ignore him. "Have you eaten?" Dwalin asked, pouring himself a mug of ale.

"It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit." He continued. I held in my laughter. Yeah. Except my parents. "But I do like to know them before they come visiting."

"What is this?" Dwalin asked, sniffing something. They were in the pantry.

"I don't know." Balin replied. "I think it's cheese. Gone blue."

"It's riddled with mold."

"The thing is, we don't know either of you." Bilbo continued. Dwalin threw the cheese down. Bilbo looked at it. "Not in the slightest." He looked at the Dwarves again. "I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry." He held up his hands.

"You think—?" Balin started and then looked at him, that friendly smile on his face once again. Bilbo cleared his throat. "Apology accepted."

"Ah."

"Now fill it up, brother, don't stint."

"You wanna get stuck in?" Dwalin groaned.

"I could eat again if you insist, brother."

The doorbell rang again. We went to answer it and when Bilbo opened it, he whimpered. There stood two more Dwarves.

"Fili." Said the blonde one. He smiled.

"And Kili." Said the brown haired one.

"At your service." They both said in unison and bowed.

"You must be Mr. Boggins." Kili said. I chuckled.

"Baggins." I smiled.

"Oh, sorry." Kili smiled. He smiled at me. "You must be Miss Bracegirdle." He took my hand and kissed it. Wow a gentlemen. Bilbo blew up.

"Nope! You can't come in. You've come to the wrong house." He started to shut the door.

"What?" Kili forced it open. "Has it been canceled?"

"No one told us." Fili said.

"Cancel—No, nothing's been canceled."

"That's a relief." Kili smiled and pushed the door open and the Dwarves walked in. Fili gave Bilbo his weapons.

"Careful with these. I just had them sharpened."

"It's nice, this place." Kili looked around.

"Yeah."

"Did you do it yourself?"

"What? No, it's been in the family for years." Bilbo explained. Kili wiped his feet on a box. "That's my mother's glory box. Can you please not do that?"

"Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Dwalin said, putting his arm around Kili.

"Mr. Dwalin." He said. "Ha, ha."

"Shove this in the hallway. Otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Balin explained.

""Everyone?" How many more are there?" Bilbo asked, puzzled.

"Where do you want this?" Dwalin asked one of them. I think it was Balin. The doorbell rang again.

"Oh, no." Bilbo began to walk there. "No. No. There's nobody home!" he threw down the weapons. I went after him, trying to beat him to the door, but of course I didn't. "Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many Dwarves in our dining room as it is. I-I-I-If this is some clot-head's idea of a joke," he laughed dryly. "I can only say it is in very poor taste." He yanked the door open and eight Dwarves tumbled in, all grunting.

"Get off, you big lump!" one snapped. Gandalf bent down and looked inside.

"Gandalf."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Dwarves were raiding the pantry. Bilbo was freaking out.

"Those are my pri—! Excuse me, not my wine. Put that back. Put that back. Not the jam, please. Excuse me. Excuse me. It's a tad excessive, isn't it?" he asked as one came out with four cheese blocks. "Have you got a cheese knife?"

""Cheese knife"?" A Dwarf said. "He eats it by the block."

"Ugh. No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair—No, so is that. Take it back, please." He took the other side of the chair and began pushing the Dwarf back with the chair.

"I cannot hear what you're saying." The Dwarf said.

"It's an antique. Not for sitting on. That is a book, not a coaster. And put that map down."

I watched in amusement. We haven't had him freak out like this since my parents came over five months ago.

"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf?" said a Dwarf coming in with a tea set.

"Yes?" Gandalf looked at him.

"May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?"

"Oh, no, thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think."

Dori looked at me. "Do you want some, miss?"

"Oh, no thanks." I smiled. "I don't drink that. Thank you though."

"You're a lot nicer than your boyfriend in there." Bofur said. I laughed.

"He's only freaking out. He'll calm down in a bit." I explained. "Mainly he only gets like this when my parents are around. They don't like him and he doesn't like them."

He laughed.

"Whoop! Mind out." Nori said, bumping into Gandalf.

"Yes. Ah." Gandalf's head hit the chandelier. He looked at Fili and Kili, who were coming in with the ale. "Uh, Fili, Kili. Uh... Oin, Glóin." Glóin was the one that had Grandpa Mungo's chair. "Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori. Ori!"

"No. Not my prizewinners, thank you." Bilbo said, grabbing a plate of tomatoes from Ori. "No, thank you."

A Dwarf walked up to Gandalf and spoke in Dwarvish. It was Bifur.

"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur." Gandalf agreed. "We appear to be one Dwarf short."

"He is late, is all. He traveled north to a meeting of our kin. He will come." Dwalin said.

"Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of red wine, as requested." Dori said. "It's got a fruity bouquet." He held a glass up to Gandalf. Bilbo looked into the pantry.

"Oh. Cheers." Gandalf took a glass and drank it.

"Bombur's on his second leg of lamb already." Glóin said, not in surprise. Gandalf looked at the glass.

"Hmm."

_Later_

The Dwarves were all talking at once.

"No chance. Not from that distance." Dwalin said.

"Wanna bet?" Bofur said. "Bombur, catch!"

Bombur opened his mouth and caught the food. All the Dwarves cheered. Bilbo looked in the pantry and slumped. Nothing was left. I touched him on the arm.

"Bilbo?" I said quietly.

"It's all gone. All of it."

Suddenly it got quiet and then there was belching.

"I knew you had it in you!" I heard Bofur exclaim.

_Later_

Bilbo ripped a doily from Nori's hand.

"Excuse me. That is a doily, not a dishcloth."

"But it's full of holes." Bofur said.

"It's supposed to look like that. It's crochet." Bilbo folded it up.

"And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it."

"Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!" Bilbo exclaimed as quietly as he could. I put my arm around his shoulder.

"My dear, Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked.

"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by Dwarves. What are they doing here?"

Bofur began to take the sausage links from Nori.

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering once you get used to them." Gandalf said.

"I don't want to get used to them, and I'm sure Mimosa doesn't either."

"You don't know that." I crossed my arms.

"Look at the state of my kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet. "They-they-they-they've pillaged the pantry! I won't even tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" Ori asked. I opened my mouth to reply but Fili walked up.

"Here you go, Ori. Give it to me." He took the plate and through it. At first I thought it was going to hit the wall, but Kili caught it instead. He then threw it into the kitchen, where someone else was doing the dishes, I'm sure.

"Take that back. Excuse me. That's my mother's West Farthing pottery. It's over 100 years old!" Bilbo exclaimed. The Dwarves were all playing with the silverware. "And can you not do that? You'll blunt them."

"Ooh. Do you hear that, lads?" Bofur said. "He says we'll blunt the knives."

"_Blunt the knives, bend the forks_." Kili sung.

"_Smash the bottles and burn the corks_." Fili sung. The other Dwarves joined in.

"_Chip the glasses and crack the plates,_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

_Cut the cloth, tread on the fat_

_Leave the bones on the bedroom mat_

_Pour the milk on the pantry floor_

_Smash the wine on every door_

_Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl_

_Pound them up with a thumping pole_

_When you're finished, if they are whole_

_Send them down the hall to roll_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_"

Bilbo grabbed my hand and we pushed ourselves through to the dining room.

"Bilbo. Mimosa." Gandalf said, smirking. All of the dishes were neatly packed on the table. I looked at Bilbo.

"We should keep them." I said and all the Dwarves erupted in laughter. There was a pounding on the door and everyone got quiet.

"He is here." Gandalf got up and went over to the door and opened it.

"Gandalf." Said the last Dwarf. He walked in. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." He took off his cloak.

"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago." Bilbo said.

"There is a mark. I put it there myself." Gandalf explained, shutting the door. "Bilbo Baggins, Mimosa Bracegirdle, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield."

Bilbo and I walked up to him. "So..." Thorin said. "These are the Hobbits. Tell me, Mr. Baggins and Miss Bracegirdle, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" Bilbo asked.

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" Thorin circled us once.

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know." Bilbo seemed proud of himself. "But I fail to see why that's relevant."

I shook my head. "No. I haven't fought once in my life." I explained, embarrassed.

"Thought as much." Thorin said. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Everyone chuckled except me and Bilbo. "And she looks more like a housewife than a burglar. Then again, I can't see a woman being a burglar at all."

_Later_

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked Thorin ate.

"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Thorin replied.

"All of them!" the Dwarves laughed.

"And what did the Dwarves of the Iron Hills say?" Dwalin asked. "Is Dain with us?"

"They will not come." Thorin explained, gravely. All the Dwarves started murmuring. "They say this quest is ours and ours alone."

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo asked.

"What kind?" I asked them.

"Bilbo, Mimosa, let us have a little more light." Gandalf said. Bilbo nodded, grabbed my hand and we got some more candles and lit them. "Far to the east, over ridges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands lies a single solitary peak."

Bilbo and I looked over Thorin's shoulder where a map laid open for all to see. ""The Lonely Mountain"." Bilbo read.

"Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Said a Dwarf. I keep on forgetting names since there's so many of them.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold." Glóin said. ""When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.""

"Uh, what beast?" Bilbo asked. He was looking in a different room and now he was looking at us.

"That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible," Bofur explained. "Cheifest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals."

Bilbo began to get a little uneasy. I started biting my nails (something I haven't done in a while).

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo snapped. Ori shot up from his seat.

"I'm not afraid. I'm up for it." He said. "I'll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!"

"Good lad, Ori!" Nori praised.

"Sit down." Dori snapped, pulling Ori down.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just 13." Balin said. "And not 13 of the best...nor brightest."

"Here, who are you calling dim?" Nori snapped.

"Sorry, what did he say?" Oin asked.

"We may be few in number," Fili said, which shut the others up. "But we're fighters, all of us, to the last Dwarf."

"And you forget we have a Wizard in our company." Kili added. "Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time."

"Oh, well, no. I wouldn't say—" Gandalf started.

"How many then?" Dori asked, eagerly.

"What?"

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Dori just looked at him. Gandalf coughed. "Go on. Give us a number." All the Dwarves began shouting.

"Excuse me. Pl-please." Bilbo said. Thorin shouted in Dwarvish and shot up from his seat, and the others sat back down and got quiet.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too?" he snapped. "Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon, Smaug, has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" his voice rose on the last few words. All the Dwarves cheered.

"You forget, the Front Gate is sealed." Balin said to them. Thorin sat as everyone got quiet again. "There is no way into the mountain."

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf said. He slid a key out of his sleeve and held it out for everyone to see. It was so different from all the ones I've seen. It was beautiful.

"Wow." I muttered.

"How came you by this?" Thorin asked in awe.

"It was given to me by your father. By Thrain. For safekeeping. It is yours now." He handed it to Thorin who just stared at it.

"If there is a key, there must be a door." Fili said.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the Lower Halls." Gandalf pointed to some runes under a hand pointing somewhere.

"There's another way in." Kili smiled.

"Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf sighed. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle Earth who can." Bilbo looked at the map again, amazed. I looked down. Gandalf continued. "The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage." He looked at us. "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need burglars." Ori said.

"Hmm. And good ones too. Experts, I'd imagine." Bilbo agreed.

"And are you?" Glóin asked. Bilbo looked around, and then at the others.

"Are we what?"

"He said they're experts. Hey."

"Us? No. No, no, no. We're not burglars. We've never stolen a thing in our lives."

"Actually I stole an apple from Fosco Whitfoot once." I piped up.

"But he caught you. So that doesn't count." Bilbo looked at me.

"Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins." Balin said. "They're hardly burglar material."

"Nope."

"Aye. The Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin agreed.

"They're just fine." Kili snapped. And all of the Dwarves began chattering.

"Enough." Gandalf stood, and the place grew dark. "If I say Bilbo Baggins and Mimosa Bracegirdle are burglars, then burglars they are." He snapped. Bilbo and I stood back, in shock at what just happened. I grabbed his hand. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose. And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, the scent of Hobbits is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the 14th and 15th members of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins and Miss Bracegirdle." He sat back down. "There's a lot more to them than appearances suggest. And they've got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including themselves." He looked at Thorin. "You must trust me on this."

"Very well." Thorin reluctantly agreed. "We'll do it your way."

"No, no." Bilbo said.

"Give them the contract."

"We're in. We're off." Bofur said. Balin pulled some paper out of his cloak.

"It's just the usual." He said and held it out to us. "Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."

Since we weren't reaching for it, Thorin grabbed it and handed it to us.

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo's voice shook. I squeaked. We stepped away and Bilbo sighed as the contract unfolded and almost reached the floor. I looked back inside and heard Thorin and Gandalf talking.

"I cannot guarantee their safety." He said.

"Understood." Gandalf said.

"Nor will I be responsible for their fates."

Gandalf was reluctant. "Agreed." He finally said.

""Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fifteenth of total profit, if any." Hmm. Seems fair." Bilbo mumbled. ""Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations, evisceration..."" he looked at one word. "Incineration?" he looked at the Dwarves. I snatched the contract out of his hand.

"Good gracious me."

"Aye." Bofur said. "He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye."

Bilbo whimpered.

"You alright, laddie?" Balin asked.

"Huh? Yeah." He knelt down and took some deep breaths.

"You sure? You look awfully pale." I placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked at me.

"I'm fine. Feel a bit faint."

"Think furnace with wings." Bofur stood.

"Bofur!" I snapped.

"Air. I-I-I need air." Bilbo said.

"Want me to open a window?" I asked. He nodded. I went off to open one.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof." Bofur said, ignoring my 'scolding'. It wasn't even that but he is messing with Bilbo. "You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

"Hmm. Nope." Bilbo fainted. I looked at him and ran over and started shaking him.

"Oh, very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf said, sarcastically.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I was fussing over Bilbo, who was now sitting in a chair. Gandalf was in the room with us.

"I'll be alright." Bilbo reassured. "Just let me sit quietly for a moment." He took a sip of tea.

"You've been sitting quietly for far too long." Gandalf snapped. "Tell me, when did doilies and your mother's dishes become so important to you? I remember two young Hobbits who were always running off in search of Elves in the woods. Who would stay out late, come home after dark, trailing mud and twigs and fireflies." He looked at Bilbo straight in the face. "Sneaking a young girl into his room. Two young Hobbits who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of the Shire. The world is not in your books and maps. It's out there."

"I can't just go running off into the blue. I am a Baggins of Bag-end."

"You are also a Took. Did you know that your great-great-great-great-uncle Bullroarer Took was so large, he could ride a real horse?"

"Yes."

"Yes, well, he could. In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the Goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin king's head clean off and it sailed 100 yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus, the battle was won. And the game of golf invented at the same time."

"I do believe you made that up."

"Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. Both of you'll have a tale or two to tell when you come back."

"Can you promise that we will come back?"

"No. And if you do, you will not be the same."

"That's what I thought. Sorry, Gandalf, we can't sign this. You've got the wrong Hobbits." He stood up.

"Now why are you making my mind up for me? Maybe I want to do this." I snapped.

"Do you want to?"

"Well, it _is _a little risky... But won't it be something to tell our children? And our children's children?"

"_If _we come back. I am not signing it." Bilbo left the room. I went after him but stopped after I heard talking.

"It appears we have lost our burglars." Balin said. "Probably for the best. The odds were always against us. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toy-makers. Heh, heh. Hardly the stuff of legend."

"There are a few warriors amongst us." Thorin said.

"Old warriors."

"I would take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor, a willing heart. I can ask no more than that."

Balin stood. "You don't have to do this." He said. "You have a choice. You've done honorably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor."

"From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me." Thorin held up the key. "They dreamt of the day when the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me."

Balin nodded. "Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done."

Something fell over and I bent down to pick it up. Thorin and Balin looked at me. "Sorry." I said, holding up a hand. "I couldn't help but listen." I walked up to them and looked at Thorin. "I'm still with you. All I have to do is sign that contract. I couldn't imagine what it's like to be without a home. And listening to you talk about how your father and grandfather dreamed of the day of when you, Thorin, would reclaim your throne. I can talk to Bilbo, see if I can get him to change his mind. But if not, you're still going to have one burglar. Like I told Dwalin, Balin, Fili and Kili earlier, Mimosa Bracegirdle at your service."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." Thorin said. This is one of the times that I'm sure he ever really smiled. I smiled back at him, and left their sides.

"Bilbo." I called. He was sitting down.

"I'm not doing it." He snapped at me.

"Listen, I think we should. These poor people lost their home, their belongings, their families all to a dragon. They want to reclaim it. They want it back. Put yourself in their shoes. What if you had lost Bag-end to the Sackville-Bagginses? What if I was killed or taken hostage for some reason? What would you do?"

Bilbo thought for a moment. "I'd fight to get it all back." He answered finally.

"That's how they feel."

We heard the Dwarves humming.

"_Far over the misty mountains cold_," Thorin sang. "_To dungeons deep_

_And caverns old,_"

They all sang now. "_We must away_

'_Ere break of day_

_To find our long-forgotten gold_

_The pines were roaring on the height_

_The winds were moaning in the night_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread_

_The trees like torches blazed with light_."

_The Next Day_

Bilbo and I woke up to the sun shining in through the window. Bilbo was the first to stir and moan, which woke me up. My eyes opened right as he tensed up.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Something's not right." Bilbo muttered. We got up and walked into the kitchen. "Hello?" he called. No response. We checked everywhere. Bilbo was ecstatic. "Yes. Yes."

"What?"

"It was all a dream. It was all a dream!"

"You mean it didn't really happen?"

"Nope! Not at—" he looked down and saw the contract. The Burglars slot was still open. "Maybe it wasn't a dream after all."

"Guess not."

"Come on."

We hurriedly signed it, got dressed, and ran out of the house. I was far behind him but I sped up when I heard a buzzing sound next to my ear. I screamed and caught up to him. "Wasp!" I said. Bilbo shook his head.

"Here, Mr. Bilbo, Miss Mimosa. Where are you off to?" someone asked us.

"Can't stop, we're already late!"

"Late for what?"

"We're going on an adventure!"

And then we ran out of the gate.


End file.
